Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It's been awhile...

So, I've been away from the blog for almost a month now, partially because I've been busy with 2 kids & partially because somethings have transpired that I haven't wanted to commit to paper (or computer screen or whatever). Here's a brief overview of the last month, I'm sure more details will follow:

1. Cooper is now 9 1/2 weeks old. Still very long & skinny, totally the opposite of Gavin. He is eating well & sleeping VERY well (almost too much at night). He has started to coo (sort of sounds like he's saying "how") & is giving big smiles anytime he is well-fed. Still totally feels like a newborn though, only 9 1/2 lbs.

2. Gavin has been having a blast this summer. He got two new boys at day care to play with & has completely outgrown the pull-ups. YAH!! I think a lot of the credit goes to having two boys close to his age that are potty-trained for him to watch everyday, he wants to be a big boy around them, but still wants mommy to baby him at home. He is starting to enjoy "reading" books at home, he flips through the pages & tells you what is happening & why the people are happy or sad or whatever. My favorite is his Noah's Ark book when he says "these people are being mean to God, and God is sad, they are hurting him." So funny that he picks up so much on the facial expressions in the pictures & regurgitates stuff that I have told him only once before.

Now on to the crappy stuff....

3. Barry's stepmom is still not doing too well. She was temporarily moved to a nursing home in Galesburg, but that only lasted for 2 days before she came down with an infection & had to be sent back to ICU. We did get to take advantage of the time at the nursing home & brought the boys over to see her. She had been so disappointed not to get to see Cooper up close. (I have to admit that I am relieved not to have to take Gavin back into that nursing home, though, he was really scared by all the people he saw in the front lobby, he didn't want to go back.) She is still on a ventilator & having trouble keeping her blood sugar at a good level given that she has the infected bed sore. We are still hoping that she will find the strength to get off the ventilator for good, so she can start moving towards more mobility & getting moved back home, but that seems to be far off.

4. On July 29, we lost one of our students from the campus house. I say "one of our students" but what I should say is our favorite student (if you're allowed to have favorites. Kerstin Taylor babysat for Gavin, dog-sat, & house-sat for us for the past 3 years we have been in Macomb. She is the one female student that I instantly bonded with & that we accepted into our family without hesitation. We are feeling a great personal loss & at the same time trying to discern how to meet the needs of our "kids" who have lost a friend. She was loved by everyone & known by everyone & we don't even know how this coming school year will be impacted with the loss of such a great leader, friend, and servant. I had a very brief talk with Gavin, not sure how much to even try to explain to him, but not wanting to just never mention her again. He just simply said that he would go see her at Jesus's house in a couple weeks; I told him not til he gets a lot bigger. They still haven't released her cause of death, but it seems to have been heart failure or something similar, very quick & unexpected.

5. We found a house that we were just in love with, and everything seemed to being falling into place: we had a great renter for our home, it had a pool, was totally within our budget, had a small room off the master suite (my scrapbook nook), and was only a block from our day care lady, but in the end another offer was accepted. It was at first very discouraging because we are so ready to move & get Cooper settled into his own room (or a shared room with Gav). It's been an emotional roller coaster for the past 6 mos. trying to sell our house, every week or two having someone that seems interested, then having it fall through. Every time we have found a house that we liked, it has been sold so quickly. We've heard that houses just aren't selling this year, but everything we want to buy certainly has. I'm trying to be patient & just let God work it out, but it's so hard at the same time. There is so much second guessing involved, I could make myself crazy re-thinking whether we should have offered more, or if we should have taken that ridiculously low offer that we got a few months back. We're at a place now that we really don't want or need to profit from the house, just sell it so that we don't have to own two places at once.

5. School starts in less than 2 weeks, and I think this is the first time I am happy to say goodbye to summer. I miss the hustle of students in town, and the busyness that overwhelms us at times but reminds us that we are doing something productive. I have missed the college students, at times they seem to be my only friends, and have missed Gavin's friendships with them as well. He has 50 some aunts & uncles that smother him with attention, so I know the summers are probably a bit of a letdown for him as well. I am excited to see how my new position really takes off when the kids are back in town as well. It's been a slow summer for me with trying to learn a new position in the midst of taking a 6-week maternity leave.

I've done a lot of thinking this summer...about my role at home, at CSC, at our local church and I've decided that I haven't been putting myself out there as much as I should to get to know people, students, my co-workers. I let myself stay busy at home with the kids so much that I have come to realize that I haven't formed the kinds of deep friendships that I had back in Downs. I have a few close friends, but in the absence of a small group to be involved in, I haven't felt quite the sense of community that I once depended on so much. I know my life as a campus minister's wife & as a mom is unique & to some extent limits my ability to have close friends, but I have made that an easy excuse not to get close to people. I'm not sure what I need to do to break out of my rut, but I now know I'm going to have to try more, friendships don't come as easy for me as they used to.


P.S. I hate how long this is, without any pictures....sorry